Assault with a Deadly Battery (And How to Get a Trademark Quickly).
First dates can be a real drain of Energy. Best to have a Battery back-up.
Read MoreCheez Doodles Are Holier than Devil's Food (And God Really Loves the Letter "K")
Separation of Church & State? Yeah, sure, but first lets keep Religion & Nutrition away from each other.
Read MoreIntroducing Sabrina (Sponsored by Nike: The Official Shoe of the Apocalypse
Sure, we’re proud of our kids when they hit the winning basket or make the honor roll. But do we really need to get all Paul Revere about it? (Yes, if you're the one writing this story.)
Read MoreLooking For Love In All The Wrong Places (And Does It Hurt To Get Clocked With a Prehistoric Flounder?)
Dating is a trip…through a jagged, rusty tunnel littered with sharp objects, disappointment and regret. There’s also a downside.
Read MoreIntroducing Olive The Dachshund (And, Hey, Marlon Brando, Stop Mumbling About The Trash)
When you own a Dachshund, it's best to invest in a Liver factory...or be prepared to suffer the fate of a shaving brush.
Read MoreI Want a Baby! (and Can You Get Russell Crowe to Fix My Damn Vacuum?)
Need some quick advice on having a baby? Avoid dating serial killers and use the Windex sparingly.
Read MoreTony Montana, Is That Olaf On Your Nostrils? (and My Next Guess Would Have Been Emotional Rescue)
When you're so busy posting every thought on Facebook, who has time to actually break-up anymore? Breaking up is (not so) hard to do for members of the social media generation.
Read MoreDo You Moxie Crimefighter, Take Speck Wildhorse to be Your Lawfully… (and 146 Babies Who Love Dragon Fire)
Today we put Baby Naming under a high-powered microscope...or at least under one of those cheap, plastic magnifying glasses you get when you put a quarter into a vending machine, turn the handle 360 degrees and wait for an impossible-to-open plastic egg to fall through the metal flap.
Read MoreAll Employees Must Wash Bear Paws Before Returning To Work (and May I Offer You a Hershey's Kiss...of Death.)
Come and hear a cautionary tale of Super Bowl jewelry, Easter hams, dangerous cocoa, urban decay and Texas prison cuisine. Let me take your mind on a ride…leaving Detroit in the rear view mirror.
Read MoreToys R Us Doesn't Serve Swedish Meatballs (and an Ice Cream Sandwich Whacked My Kneecaps)
Come with me on a shopping trip with Care Bears, Charles Manson, very dangerous desserts, future kings and wörds with löts öf umlauts. The store is open!
Read MoreWikipedia Says Cupid Was Born 8 Miles From Philly (and Thomas the Train is a Tiny Wino)
Allow me take to you on a magical ride where you'll meet rock stars, see-saw scoundrels, toking grandmothers and spine-cracking railroad operators. All aboard!
Read MoreYou Don't Have To Beat Up A Cabbage Patch Kid To Get An MBA (It's Just More Fun If You Do)
Assaulting children's dolls from the 80's has become a time-honored tradition at business schools across America. In my mind.
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